Baby Boom
by lovesrainscent
Summary: COMPLETE! Set 10 years after the original series,Konoha experiences its own baby boom. Seven kunoichi,7 pairings,7 pregnancies,7 decisions,7 outcomes. Lee/Tenten, Shikamaru/Temari, Kiba/Hinata, Konohamaru/Moegi, Chouji/Ino, Sakura/Kakashi
1. Embroidery

**Title:** Baby Boom

**Author**: Lovesrainscent

**Rating:** T

**Pairing:** Various

**Disclaimer:** I do not own these Naruto characters and stand to make no profit from posting this story.

**Summary:** Set 10 years after the original series. After the latest war, Konoha is experiencing its own little baby boomlet. Seven kunoichi, seven pairings, seven pregnancies, seven decisions, seven outcomes.

_This is a series of loosely connected one-shots. They are not all happy because in real life it doesn't always work out that way.  
_

_**Pairings:  
Chapter 1: **Tenten/Lee**  
Chapter 2: **Temari/Shikamaru**  
Chapter 3: **Hinata/Kiba**  
Chapter 4: **Moegi/Konohamaru**  
Chapter 5: **Ino/Chouji**  
Chapter 6: **Sakura/Kakashi**  
Chapter 7: **Yoshino/Shikaku**  
**_

**Chapter 1: Embroidery**

Rock Lee had never expected to find himself in this situation, could not believe that he was the most fortunate of shinobi. His wife, his beautiful, perfect and splendid wife was about to give birth to their first child. He was thrilled, elated, excited and exhausted. And his hand hurt. His wife was stronger than he had realized.

"Tenten, I know you want to push, but not yet. Just a little bit longer," Shizune reassured her.

"Ah! Lee!" Tenten gripped his hand again with a strength he was only just now beginning to fully appreciate. He saw her eyes start to flutter close as the contraction gripped her.

"Tenten," he called her. "Tenten, look at me. Shizune says soon. Soon you can push but you must wait or you will injure yourself. Soon and we can meet our daughter, but until then, look at me."

Panting rapidly and looking into his eyes filled with such love and devotion, Tenten found the willpower to fight the almost overwhelming urge to bear down and push. Forcing herself to keep her eyes open and to keep looking at her husband also kept her from focusing inwardly on the pain. She smiled at him through gritted teeth, "Okay, Lee," she managed to whisper between pants.

The contraction subsided. Tenten caught her breath and shifted uncomfortably as Shizune checked her again.

"Okay, Tenten, you're fully dilated, on the next contraction, I want you to bear down and push," Shizune's voice was authoritative, and yet comforting.

Panting rapidly again, she felt the contraction build in her muscles, the pain building as well. But it was a _good_ pain, a pain with a purpose, exhausting but so very worthwhile. And now she could do what her body had been aching to do, what her body had been _made_ to do. She could push _with_ the contraction, push with all her energy, push and deliver her baby girl, Lee's baby girl, _their_ daughter into the world.

She cried out with the force of the next contraction and Lee brushed her sweaty hair back away from her face.

"Oh, my beautiful lotus," he said tenderly, "Oh, if only I could bear the pain for you."

She smiled up at him, at her wonderfully goofy husband, at his dark eyes under bushy brows that were full of nothing but love and concern for her. "Lee, it's a good hurt, really it is," thinking how ridiculous that must sound and unable to explain it to him before the next wave hit her.

"You're doing marvelously," encouragement was in Shizune's voice. "Keep pushing like that and it won't be much longer."

Tenten felt the wave cresting again, her muscles working for her, Lee's steadying gaze a true comfort to her. Wave after wave came and she worked through them all, breathing as she'd been instructed, keeping her eyes open and her thoughts focused on the work – they didn't call it labor for nothing she managed to groan out as a particularly strong contraction overtook her.

She sank back against the pillows for a moment, whispering, "I'm exhausted, Lee, I'm just so tired." She wanted nothing more than just a brief respite, just a little pause but that was not to be. She sat up again, panting and pushing again for the next one.

Shizune seemed to have a smile plastered on her face, Tenten thought she hadn't seen it waver once this whole time. "You are a textbook case, Tenten, your labor as progressed _perfectly_," Shizune chuckled. "The baby's crowning, any minute now and…"

"OH!" Tenten called out not really hearing what Shizune had to say and it all seemed very muddled in her head somehow anyway because she seemed to be laughing and crying at the same time now and Lee did too.

"Of course she is a textbook case, Shizune-san," Lee said, thinking he needed to defend her. "My Tenten is the most splendid kunoichi in all of Konoha." He looked back down at his wife's hand in his, seeing the tiny scars that crisscrossed her hands and arms from all her training with the weapons she was so skilled at. The scars covered her hands like embroidery, each one evidence of the hard work she'd put herself through to become the unrivaled weapons' mistress of their village. Of course she would labor with all her youthful energy in this most important of missions.

Shizune chided the shinobi gently, "_Any_ delivery where the mother and baby are both fine is a good delivery, a great delivery, Lee. We don't make any judgments in here."

Shizune had attended enough births to know that even at the last minute something unexpected could happened.

Shaking her head, the medic kept her attention on her patient, _patients_ she corrected herself. "Next one, Tenten, push for all you are worth, she's almost here."

"Tenten! Tell me how I can help you," Lee pleaded.

"Just look at me, Lee," she answered, panting again, "Just keep looking at me and I can do …_this_…" Tenten groaned loudly as she worked with the contraction again.

"She's here!" Shizune announced gladly, carefully catching the slippery infant who was looking at the world for the first time with wide, unfocused eyes. "Lee, get over here, if you're cutting the cord!"

"Tenten?"

"Go, Lee," Tenten waved weakly, "Hurry."

Quickly he turned to follow Shizune's instructions, his hands shaking only slightly, in awe at the miracle in front of him. Tenten had done _this_? He and Tenten had made this perfect, beautiful, tiny, _splendid_ kunoichi in front of him?

"I want to see her. I want to hold her." Tenten demanded.

"Let's clean her up just a little," Shizune chuckled, gently toweling the little newborn girl and swaddling her in a soft cloth.

She handed his daughter to him. Lee accepted her with his mouth agape. Tenten laughed and cried again as she managed to sit up in the bed, holding her arms out, strength returning to them as she reached to hold her baby.

Cradling her infant in her arms, Tenten delicately opened the blanket, seeing her perfect little limbs, ten fingers and ten toes.

Lee watched his wife's scar-embroidered hands gingerly trace over their daughter's smooth unbroken skin.

"Tenten, oh Tenten, my beloved, _this_ is the most splendid kunoichi in all of Konoha," he blurted out then quickly wished he could recall it as the last thing he wanted to do now was to hurt his wife's feelings.

"I know," Tenten agreed simply. "She is, isn't she?"

"We must tell Gai sensei, we must tell him to come in and see her."

"Not yet, Lee," Shizune interrupted, "Let us get Tenten cleaned up."

"But Gai sensei has seen Tenten bloodied in training, he would understa…"

"NO!" Shizune and Tenten emphatically stated in unison and then giggled together as well.

"Gai sensei can wait a few more minutes," Shizune ordered. "He's waited this long, I don't think she'll lose any of her splendid-ness in the next little bit." She busied herself with the remaining tasks at hand.

"Tenten," Lee whispered, kneeling down beside his wife and child. "Tenten, you will _always _be the most splendid kunoichi to me. It's just that…"

"I know, Lee," she said, crooning softly to her daughter, already losing herself in the unfocused eyes in front of her. "She really is _perfect._"

_**A/N:**__ Why seven pairings? Well it's that old nursery rhyme, Monday's Child...  
_

_Monday's child is fair of face.  
Tuesday's child is full of grace.  
Wednesday's child is full of woe.  
Thursday's child has far to go.  
Friday's child is loving and giving.  
Saturday's child works hard for a living.  
But the child who is born on the Sabbath day  
is bonny and blithe and good and gay. _

_As a reminder, this fic is set 10 years after the start of the original series. So age-wise Lee 23/Tenten23, Shikamaru 22/Temari 25, Kiba 22/Hinata 22, Moegi 18/Konohamaru 18, Hanabi 17, Kakashi 34/Sakura 22.  
_


	2. Women's Work

**Chapter 2: Women's Work**

_Tuesday's child is full of grace - Temari/Shikamaru_**  
**

This was bad.

This was really bad.

Shikamaru had been to all the childbirth classes Temari had dragged him along to. He thought he was as prepared as he could be for the actual physical processes the female body went through during birth. Somebody should have warned him to brush up on the psychology involved, too.

Temari was weak and nauseated. She'd spent as much time in the bathroom upchucking through her contractions as she had in the childbirth bed. Now she lay curled up in the bed, suffering through the latest wave of pain.

"Temari?" he asked softly, trying to rub her lower back for her. "Temari, do you want any more ice chips?"

"NO! I don't want any more damned ice chips," she snarled, jerking away from his touch as best she could. "I want to DIE! Can you understand that? I want to DIE!"

Taking a deep breath, curious as to when her alleged maternal instincts were going to kick in, Shikamaru looked around the room and wondered where the hell Shizune was. She'd been popping in and out checking on Temari, clucking every once in a while about 'progress.' It seemed like she had been gone for an awfully damned long time now.

And she'd left him alone with a woman intent on suicide. Or murder. Or infanticide. Probably all three. The really scary thing was she was _capable_ of all three.

Temari whimpered and he realized to his shock that she was _crying_, now. Temari _never_ cried. He settled himself on the edge of the bed beside her, daring to rest one hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong?" he asked as softly as he could, overlooking the obvious that she was in a tremendous amount of pain.

She snuffled against the pillow, whispering so that he had a hard time hearing her. "I'm going to die, aren't I, Shikamaru? I'm going to die. I don't want to die."

Okay, now where the hell had THAT come from? Just 30 seconds ago hadn't she told him she wanted to die?

"Temari," he patted her shoulder clumsily. "You're healthy. You're not going to die or Shizune would have said something."

There. That should do it. A simple statement of fact. She couldn't argue with logic like that.

Instead she was engulfed in a fresh wave of sobs and tears.

Well, shit. Now what?

"_It's_ going to die, isn't it? It's going to die or I'll kill it. I'll do something wrong and kill it."

'It' - they never had found out the baby's gender. Although the trend throughout Konoha was to find your favorite Byakuugan user and have them tell you the baby's sex, Temari had shied away from that. He'd chalked it up to cultural differences, it seemed that not knowing the gender before birth was the norm in Suna. He hadn't really cared himself, boy or girl, there wasn't much they could do about it now, he'd thought pragmatically.

But now he had a sneaking suspicion that there may have been more to it than that from Temari's point of view. Not knowing the gender may have kept the baby, their baby, a more abstract concept in her mind. He'd noticed that she'd gotten quieter as her pregnancy progressed, more withdrawn. He'd chalked it up to hormones, glad for the extra sleep, and let it go at that.

While the other kunoichi participating in Konoha's little baby boomlet seemed thrilled at each little change and happy to tell you about every fluttery feeling inside when their baby kicked, Temari had seemed nervous through it all, _especially_ when the baby started kicking. She'd only seemed relieved in the third trimester as the child grew larger in her womb and its motions became less frequent.

Again, he'd just chalked it all up to hormones and cultural differences. Maybe in Suna they weren't as chatty about their pregnancies as the girls in Konoha were.

"Shizune! I told you to let me know when Temari went into labor!" the door swung open and Tsunade swept in, Sakura and Shizune in tow.

Finally, action, Shikamaru thought. Tsunade was here so they could get things done.

"Temari," Tsunade was by her patient's bedside now, her voice calm and soft. "Shizune tells me you're nauseated. Do you want us to give you something for that?"

"I don't want it," Temari shook her head vehemently. "I don't. I don't want it."

"You don't want the medicine?" Tsunade's question was exceedingly cautious.

"I don't want IT! I made a mistake. I shouldn't have done this. I don't want IT!" Temari sobbed throwing herself back against the pillows.

"Well, it's a little late now," Tsunade said gently, resting her hand on Temari's sweaty forehead. "That baby's in there and it's coming out today." Turning to Sakura she instructed her on the dosage of the anti-nausea medicine to prepare.

"Tsunade-sama, this has been going on for hours," Shikamaru blurted out. "I think you should just do a C-section and..."

"Oh?" Tsunade turned to glare at him, hands on her hips. "And just who do you want making decisions as to when to cut _you_ open, Nara?" she hissed under her breath at him so that Temari couldn't hear.

Accepting the syringe from Sakura, Tsunade administered the dose herself. "Better?" she asked, then not giving her a chance to answer she continued, "we'll wait for the next contraction and see."

They didn't have long to wait, Temari gritted her teeth and clenched her jaw through the next one but at least she wasn't dry-heaving through it. Tsunade studied her carefully, speaking very firmly at the end of it, "We're not going to get anywhere if you fight_ against_ them Temari. You know that. I know you're strong and you can probably keep this up for a long while, but eventually even you will be worn out. Like it or not, this is one fight you can't win."

Against them? Shikamaru thought dumbfounded. Temari had been working against her own contractions? Why the hell would she do that? He started to speak but Tsunade shot him a look that threatened bodily harm so he shut up instantly.

Surveying her team, Tsunade had to admit that Temari had, without a doubt, the three top medical nins in all of the Land of Fire, quite probably in all the Five Great Nations attending to her. There certainly wasn't a lack of clinical skills here. But there was more to her problem than that. Kicking herself mentally, thinking back to all she knew about the girl's background, her history with her own mother and Gaara she realized that Temari didn't need clinical assistance at all. And what she did need, neither she nor Sakura nor Shizune could give her.

"Shikamaru - who's out in the waiting room for you?"

"Huh?" he jerked his attention away from his wife to his Hokage. "Oh, um, my mom and dad and Chouza I think."

"Temari. Listen to me. I want Yoshino to come in here. I want her with you. Is that okay with you?"

Temari closed her eyes and threw her head back, tendons in her neck straining as she fought against the pain in her body once again. "I don't care," she wailed. "It doesn't matter anyway. I don't care."

"Shikamaru, go ask Yoshino to come in here."

"Huh? Tsunade, I don't think..."

"You're right, you don't think!" the blond woman snapped. "I didn't ask you to think, I told you to go get your mom and bring her in here. That's an order. Now go!"

Shikamaru scampered from the room, if the truth be known, eternally grateful to Tsunade for giving him an excuse to get _out_ of there.

Typically, Tsunade wouldn't think of asking additional non-medical personnel in to a delivery but this wasn't a typical case. Besides, she'd seen that Yoshino and Temari seemed relatively close, not your average mother-in-law/daughter-in-law fractious relationship. And Temari didn't need any medical assistance right now, she needed a labor doula, someone whose experience came from having gone through labor and delivery herself before, not just being an attendent at them.

The girl was scared to death. And who wouldn't be after what had happened to her own mother when Gaara was born? Temari had been three, old enough to remember her mother and old enough to know that she'd died in childbirth. Homebirths were the norm in Suna, Temari may have even been in the house when it happened.

Shikamaru returned to the room, Yoshino slightly behind him. She hesitated at the door. "Tsunade-sama? Shikamaru said you wanted to see me?"

"Come in, Yoshino-san. I think Temari would benefit if you could stay with her. Will you stay?"

"Hai, yes, but I'm no medic, Tsunade-sama....I..."

"No, but you've been through this before," Tsunade smiled over at her. Just then Temari gave a loud cry.

"Temari-chan," Yoshino whispered, infinitely soft and tender, she was instantly by her side. Taking her daughter-in-law's hand in one of hers, she smoothed the girl's hair back out of her face. "Temari-chan, what is wrong? How can I help you?"

"I'm scared, okaa-...Yoshino-san. I'm scared."

"Shhh, it is scary, neh?" Yoshino whispered. "Shh, I know."

"AHHHH!" Temari cried out and gripped Yoshino's hand so tight that her fingers turned white. Panting she managed to sob out, "My mother died....and she hated her baby. She hated him. Before she died. What if I...."

The contraction subsiding, Temari sagged back against Yoshino who kissed her forehead and whispered against her. "What if _you_ hate it? What if you don't love the baby? Tch. Temari-chan. Don't think you're the only one who's ever had this fear."

In the respite between contractions, Temari turned to Yoshino amazed. "Yoshino-san?"

The older woman was shaking her head gently. "I know. You feel like you must be a monster yourself for even entertaining the thought. Poor Temari-chan. No mother for herself. Poor little lost fawn." She had Temari's head cradled against her chest now. "A terrible thing was done to your mother, Temari. But she loved Gaara-chan, I'm sure of it. And look at him now. She would be so proud of him, so proud she brought him into this world. I know she would."

Temari sat up for another contraction, tears abating a bit as Yoshino crooned on about every potential fear he could imagine that parenthood entailed. It flew in the face of all logic, Shikamaru thought she should be telling her _not _to be afraid. Instead she was listing them for her, fear of dropping the baby, fear of not loving the baby enough, fear of smothering the baby if you fell asleep nursing it. He started to speak up to tell his mom to knock it off, but Sakura stamped on his foot and he shut up, sidling over to his wife's side as Tsunade motioned for him to do so.

And he noticed that none of them involved fear of the actual delivery itself. And some of them were so outrageous that he chuckled and even Temari managed a weak smile. He'd never known that his mother had an irrational fear when he was an infant that he would be carried off by baza hawks. And he also realized that every one of them was a fear that his mother had had herself.

Shikamaru was wondering who this imposter was who had snuck into the delivery room in the guise of his mother. He had never heard her speak so softly and tenderly in his entire life. Guiltily he had to admit that maybe, okay, once or twice, he'd heard her sound like that when he was little and had a fever. Or that time that his father had come home from the mission with the gashes on his face that led to his resultant scars and they'd spent so much time in the hospital with him.

"Temari-chan, you're lips are cracked. Do you want some ice chips?" his mother asked.

Weakly Temari nodded, "Yes, please," she croaked out hoarsely.

"Shikamaru! What kind of husband are you! Can't you see our Temari-chan needs some ice? Go get her some!"

Okay, it really was mom after all he thought, starting to realize that maybe things were going to be all right.

When he came back to the room, Temari was up walking around, one arm over Yoshino's shoulders, his mother holding her at her waist. "Tch," Yoshino clucked, "Shizune tells us the baby's not descending. It's probably a boy. A typical Nara man. Lazy from birth. You wouldn't come down either."

"MOM! Why have you got her up out of bed? Where's Shizune or Sakura?"

"Temari wants to be up, don't you Temari-chan?" Yoshino snapped in reply. "Why shouldn't she? It's the only way your lazy baby will come down!"

Shikamaru just sighed and handed the cup of ice chips to his mother who spooned a few to Temari. Another contraction coming on, Temari gripped Yoshino's shoulders and rested her forehead against her mother-in-laws and panted regularly through this one.

Shizune and Sakura breezed back in after checking on a couple more patients down the hall. "How are you, Temari?" Shizune asked, sounding a little more cheerful than last time.

"O-o-okay," Temari stammered.

"Did the walking help?"

Temari nodded her chin up and down a little.

"Great. We've been gone for a bit. Get back in the bed and let me check you and..."

Temari clutched Yoshino and whimpered, "Nooooo..."

"Temari, just get back in bed, okay," Shikmaru pleaded. Three sets of female eyes glared daggers at him, he found himself grateful that kunai and shuriken were forbidden in the maternity ward.

"She doesn't want to have the baby in the bed," Yoshino said matter of factly, speaking for her daughter in law.

"Oh? Well, then, okay," Shizune said. "Will you at least let me check you in the bed? I promise you can get right back up and continue walking."

Glancing at the petite brunette for reassurance, Temari nodded and Shikamaru helped her ease herself onto the bed for the few brief moments it took to check her cervix.

"You're there!" Shizune said excitedly as she and Yoshino helped Temari struggle to her feet. Temari managed a smile of satisfaction, one goal having been reached. But Shikamaru wasn't at all satisfied with this not-in-the-bed business.

"Temari, please get back in the bed..." he started and Temari just crumpled into a wailing mass of sobs, clinging to Yoshino.

Gulping out between wails, she whimpered, "Okaa-chan, okaa-chan was in the bed...and...she wasn't moving...and...and...there was blood and...I tried to get her to wake up...and she wouldnt' wake up...and...she wouldn't wake up and...I tried."

If looks could kill, Shikamaru realized he would have been a dead man three times over.

"Shikamaru! Get OUT!" his mother yelled at him.

"No, okaa-san, no, I want him to stay," Temari cried.

"Tell me what you want, Temari-chan and we will do it," Yoshino said authoritatively, speaking for all of them.

"I want Shikamaru-kun to hold me, in the chair. I don't want it to happen in the bed," she was shaking her head forlornly like a little girl, "not like okaa-chan."

"Shh, of course, little one, of course," she said soothingly then snapped into drill sargeant mode, "Shikamaru! Sit down in the chair so Temari-chan can rest against you."

And Shikamaru did as he was told, settling back into the chair, Temari leaning against him, with his arms wrapped around her, just below her breasts at the swell of her belly. They weren't through with the screaming yet, but at least now it seemed rhythmic and with a purpose, although Shikamaru wasn't sure his hearing would ever return to normal.

Yoshino and Sakura braced themselves against Temari's legs as she leaned back against Shikamaru, knees up to her chest, giving her something to push against.

"Almost, almost, oh! She keeps slipping back!" Shizune said, excitement creeping into her voice.

"She?" Shikamaru asked.

Shizune snorted, "All babies are 'she' Shikamaru, until you know the gender, in Suna that's usually not until birth."

"That's right," Temari agreed and he was more than relieved to hear her sound so normal again, that is before she screamed.

"She's crowning!" Shizune said overjoyed.

"Sakura! I want Sakura!" Temari demanded. "I want Sakura to catch her."

"Wha-?" Sakura sounded startled, "I-I haven't done that before, Temari."

Through gritted teeth, Temari shouted out her, "And I haven't had one before either, dammit. There's a first time for everything!"

Shizune was standing and her smile was brilliant as she pushed her assistant down, "Hurry Sakura! Get down here, hurry!"

And Shikamaru found himself feeling extremely superfluous as his daughter came into the world surrounded by the laughter and tears of the four women in the room with him.

_**A/N:** okaa-san = mother_

_okaa-chan = mommy_

_doula = a greek word meaning a women's servant, a labor doula is an experienced woman who attends to the mother during childbirth. Not the same as a midwife, she doesn't provide clinical/medical skills, she's more there to speak on the mother's behalf and to see to her comfort and wishes and most importantly to stay with her.  
_

_Anyway, difficult to explain the role of a doula but when I got to thinking about who the medical nin were in Konoha it occurred to me that none of them, that we know of, would have had children yet. So, it gave me a chance to use one of my favorite characters, Yoshino!  
_


	3. Bewildered

**Chapter 3: Bewildered  
**

_Wednesday's child is full of woe - Hinata/Kiba._

Hinata looked at the small garden in satisfaction. She'd been tending it all afternoon, tidying up flowerbeds in front of the neat little house she and Kiba had recently purchased. It was actually not a little house, a better term might be a tiny house. It only had two bedrooms. But that was all they would need for now.

She sat back on her heels and smiled up at the sky in the spring sunshine. Yes - they would only need two bedrooms for now. One for her and Kiba and one for the baby. She let her hand come to rest on her stomach and smiled again. Her baby.

They hadn't exactly been trying to have a baby. Then again they hadn't been trying _not _to.

But one day, at the very end of winter, when the first few frost-hardy flowers were starting to peek out she had looked at her calendar and realized that maybe...she might be late. She tried to force herself to be calm, one day was nothing, maybe if she was a week late or ten days late or something like that, then maybe it would be worth telling Kiba, getting a test, checking to see.

So she had forced herself to wait at least a week.

She smiled to herself, sitting in the sunshine in the garden, remembering the stunned look on Kiba's face when she had told him the results. For a moment he had sat quite still in shocked amazement. Then he had grabbed her and hugged her tightly only to let go almost immediately, afraid he would break her. The two of them had fallen laughing against each other. They were going to have a _baby! _

Hinata came back from her reverie as Akamaru, the large white hound, nosed open the garden gate and joined her in the backyard, seeking out a sunny spot to lie down and stretch out. Expecting Kiba, too, when he didn't appear, she called his name. No answer.

Odd.

Oh, well, she knew that after diplomatic missions, sometimes the shinobi escorts had lengthy debriefing sessions. She hadn't really expected Kiba home this early anyway but it was still surprising to see his dog. Akamaru generally stayed with Kiba whether it was a daring rescue mission or a boring debriefing meeting.

"Hello, Akamaru," she said, reaching over to ruffle his ears gently. The big dog thumped his tail in appreciation once or twice but remained lying there on his side looking at her. "Where's Kiba, boy?"

She didn't really expect an answer, Akamaru simply thumped his tail in acknowledgment.

Hinata had tried to make an appointment for a pre-natal checkup right away and been surprised to find out she'd have to wait two weeks, apparently Konoha was in the midst of a serious upswing in maternity patients. She supposed that's what happened when peace broke out and had wondered if the same thing was going on in the other nations.

Hinata stood up, wincing at the twinge of pain across her lower back. She must have been working out here longer than she realized, kneeling among the delicate young plants. She straightened and stretched, rubbing the knotted muscles in her back gently. Akamaru rose and went to the garden shed with her as she stored her implements away.

Smiling secretly to herself she was thinking that it was actually three of them going to the shed, she and Akamaru and the _baby_. She had had her first appointment with Shizune who had confirmed her pregnancy, estimating she was about six weeks along and sent her home with a load of books and vitamins and hearty congratulations. So yes, she and Akamaru and the_ baby_ were now putting the tools away in the shed.

That was two weeks ago. And the day Shizune confirmed her pregnancy was the day Tenten and Lee's daughter had been born. Whether it was superstition or her reserved nature or her old-fashioned upbringing, Hinata decided to keep her own secret to herself. She wanted to share fully in the joy of Tenten's happiness, Temari was due any day now and Ino within the next few weeks. She would wait before she told her friends. By the time Ino's baby was born, Hinata would be through her first trimester. It was difficult to get Kiba to agree to keeping quiet, but he did promise.

Hinata passed her hand across the small of her back, wishing the ache would stop. She stowed the last of the garden tools away and shut the small shed door behind her as she headed for her house. Maybe a nice warm shower and some tea would relax her.

As they headed back to the house, Hinata glanced at Akamaru. "Maybe you'll be getting a bath this weekend, too, boy. I don't know what you and Kiba got into on this mission, but you, err, smell bad, Akamaru." For an answer he just swished his tail gently.

Glancing at the clock as she went through her kitchen toward the bath, Hinata felt sorry for Kiba. This must be turning into one seriously long boring meeting. No wonder Akamaru had bailed out. Kiba still wasn't home, even after she finished a rather lengthy shower.

Toweling herself off, she realized that not only was her husband still not home, she also didn't feel any better. Her back was still tense and knotted, a band of tightly bunched muscles across her lower back that she could not seem to get to relax.

Slipping into a loose robe Hinata padded barefoot into the kitchen to prepare tea. As she waited for the water to come a boil, she stood, continuing to try to rub her muscles across her back, wondering if there were some mild pain reliever it was safe to take. There was probably a list of things she would be allowed to use in the literature that Shizune gave her. Once her tea was ready she went into their cozy living room to read through it again.

Settling onto the couch, Hinata shifted this way and that, unable to get comfortable. It wasn't a sharp pain at all, but persistent, dull and aching. Akamaru joined her, lying on the carpet in front of the couch beside her. Hinata reached down, rubbing his silky ears.

The discomfort continued. Lying on her back helped a little but not much. She was alarmed when the band of pain seemed to extend around her sides, reaching to the middle. Briefly she panicked, wondering if she should go see someone, call a doctor or what. But that was foolish, the pain really wasn't that bad it was just frustrating that it was so relentless. Finally, after tossing and turning on the couch, Hinata slipped into a light sleep, her fingers still resting on Akamaru's head.

"Hinata?" Kiba called as he came in the door. "Akamaru? Where are you guys?"

From the entryway to his home, Kiba heard Akamaru's tail thump in welcome. "Akamaru? Come here boy."

Akamaru yawned and stretched and sat up, remaining beside Hinata. The petite brunette was waking up herself. "Kiba," she smiled up at him, "You're home."

"Yeah," he slung his pack of belongings down to the ground beside the couch. "Stupid meeting dragged on and on." He studied her curiously. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said hesitantly, "I...think I must have hurt my back gardening today." She stood up to hug him, expecting to still feel pain in her back but she was very much relieved to find out that she felt better, most of the pain had subsided.

"You should take it easy, Hinata," Kiba said bending down to kiss her.

"Don't be ridiculous, Kiba, I was just planting flowers." She smiled, "You've been out of town, what do you want me to make for supper?"

It was so nice to have Kiba back. Truth to tell she had been a little concerned when she felt so bad earlier in the afternoon and he wasn't around. Simply having him home made her feel better, more at ease. They'd filled each other in on their missions, his away from Konoha and hers carried out in town this week. Hinata realized how much she had missed him, how complete her life was with him in it. After a week without him, it was the most wonderful thing in the world to fall asleep in his arms that night.

* * *

The next morning Hinata awoke to the greatest shock of her life. A single drop of blood stained her underwear. Hands shaking she managed to get dressed.

What was wrong?

Could she have been mistaken? Was her period starting? Had she never been pregnant at all?

Her mind was racing. Don't be ridiculous she chided herself. She'd done a test herself AND Shizune had confirmed that she _was_ pregnant.

Eight weeks.

She'd even started having some morning sickness. Of course she was pregnant.

But what about yesterday? Was she confusing her backache with menstrual cramps? It hadn't exactly felt like that but what exactly did being pregnant _feel_ like, what _should_ it feel like? She really had no idea.

Everyone, Tenten, Temari, Ino, they all talked about backaches, but that was when they were further along, when the baby was bigger.

Her backache from yesterday had completely subsided. She wasn't feeling any physical pain at all any longer. As a matter of fact she actually felt fine.

A mild backache that went away after a shower and a nap.

A single spot of blood.

Sometimes there was spotting during pregnancy wasn't there? She'd heard about that before. This certainly qualified. A spot was a spot. It was hardly _more _than a spot.

A mild backache that was completely gone now and one single solitary spot of blood. She was making something out of nothing. Taking a deep breath and trying to force herself to be as objective as possible she had to acknowledge that yes, she did feel fine, certainly better than yesterday afternoon. She was not going to be a panicky little girl over a single drop of blood.

She made a promise to herself, if she felt the least little bit bad or if she had one single additional spot she would go to the clinic right away. Otherwise she was not going to panic over these trivial little things.

She and Kiba spent the weekend relaxing together and working on their little house. Kiba was insistent on her 'taking it easy' and this time she was happy to oblige. One shock on Saturday morning was enough.

Monday morning came. When Hinata went to shower she discovered her nightclothes were thoroughly stained with blood. No pain, no discomfort, not even menstrual cramps, just blood. Weeping softly she managed to shower, clean herself up and dress. She remained in the bathroom for some time, crying quietly into her hands until Kiba's worried knock came at the door.

"Something's wrong," she whispered as he folded her into his arms when she opened the door.

"What? Hinata are you hurt? Are you sick? What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she answered truthfully. And honestly, she didn't feel any pain or nausea at all. Physically she had to admit that she felt fine. But her heart was breaking. "I need to go to see Shizune."

"I'll go with you."

Hinata shook her head. She couldn't explain it, she just knew she needed to go herself. "No. Please, just stay here. Just wait for me here at the house until I get back. That's what I need for you to do."

"Hinata...," Kiba started to protest.

Hinata realized then very definitely why she didn't want him to go. "Kiba, I don't want you in the examining room and I...I don't want the first time I see you after I see her to be in some waiting room. I want to see you when I come home. Wait for me here. That's what I _need_ you to do for me." Her voice was very firm and he reluctantly agreed.

* * *

"Hinata?" Shizune knocked gently at the door of the examination room.

"C-c-come in," Hinata answered softly.

Shizune entered, carrying her charts with her. "Hinata? What seems to be the problem? You're not due back for a monthly checkup for two weeks."

"I-I-I think there's something wrong, Shizune-san," Hinata whispered, looking down at the floor.

"Oh. I see. Can you describe the symptoms you're having?"

Shizune listened patiently as the younger kunoichi explained her extremely mild symptoms over the weekend culminating in the events of this morning. "What...what's wrong?" Hinata finally asked in a quavering voice.

Shizune put a hand on her knee and answered her. "We'll run a few tests then we'll know more." She went to a cabinet and opened a drawer, pulling out an examination gown, passing it to Hinata.

"Shizune, I'm...I'm bleeding," Hinata whispered, hesitating to take the gown, not sure if Shizune had understood the gravity of her situation this morning.

"I understand. That's okay, Hinata. I need to examine you to make sure _you're_ okay. You can change and then knock on the door to let me know when you're ready."

After the examination, Shizune also took a blood sample. "While you change back, I'll test this. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"What are you testing for?" Hinata asked.

"We test for the presence of human growth hormone. We'll know more after the test. I'll be right back. You go ahead and change and get comfortable."

Getting comfortable was something Hinata was sure she would never be able to achieve for the rest of her life. Yet she obediently changed into her regular clothes, deposited the examining gown in the appropriate container and sat in the regular chair in the room waiting as patiently as possible for Shizune.

When the medic nin did return her expression was composed. She sat in the chair beside Hinata, chart opened on her lap and began to speak. "Hinata, your blood test does show a level of human growth hormone we would expect at around eight weeks of pregnancy. You are most likely pregnant. However, there is no heartbeat that I can detect and given your symptoms it is probable you are miscarrying."

_Miscarrying?_

What did she mean_ 'miscarrying?'_ A _miscarriage_ was something dramatic and sudden like in the movies where the actress suffers a fall or an injury in battle. "But I haven't fallen," Hinata spoke up, "I haven't been injured, I've done no stressful training, nothing like that at all."

"I know," Shizune tried to sound reassuring, "I know. But sometimes...this just happens. We don't really know all the circumstances that lead to it."

Hinata sat in stunned silence. Miscarry-_ing?_ Not miscarriage? As in not an event that happens but a process that's on-going. She was sitting here, in Shizune's office miscarry-_ing? _If it was a process could it be stopped?_  
_

"What can I do? What can we do to stop it?"

"Hinata," Shizune's voice was very soft and kind. "This is your body's way of dealing with a pregnancy that most likely wasn't viable. What we do is we wait. Go home. Rest. Come back and see me tomorrow, we'll check your blood again."

Hope crept into Hinata's voice. "Do you think tomorrow...?"

"We need to check the HGH levels to see if they are falling appropriately. They should fall at a certain rate as your body goes through the process. If they continue to fall, we shouldn't need to intervene, you're very early on and your body will take care of everything."

"But what if they go up? Or at least stop falling? That's good right?"

Shizune shook her head. "Hinata, I am sorry but there is no heartbeat. It's extremely unlikely the HGH levels will go up. We need to make sure they continue to drop. If they don't you may need a D&C."

"Oh." Hinata sat in silence on the examining table, trying to process all Shizune had just said.

"You can stay in this room as long as you like, Hinata. Take your time Come back and see me tomorrow." Shizune said kindly as she left Hinata alone to collect her thoughts.

The walk home was long but the weather was pleasant and it gave her time to clear her mind. Clearing her mind was about the best she could do. Hinata couldn't really think cogently about any one thing. It was all just too overwhelming.

She _had_ been pregnant.

But now she was not.

Or she was at least in the _process_ of not being pregnant.

When did you _stop_ being pregnant?

She and Kiba were going to have a baby.

Now they were not.

She had been a mother...for about 8 weeks.

Now she was not.

Was she?

Kiba met her at the door and they just held each other without saying a word. Hinata thought she really might be able to get through this without breaking down into tears until she saw the flowers. Kiba settled them both onto the couch, pulling Hinata into his lap. "I got white flowers," he whispered against her hair, "because I didn't know if it was a boy or a girl."

* * *

The next appointment with Shizune was very much abbreviated. No examination was necessary, she just stopped by the lab for them to draw a vial of blood then went and waited for Shizune to follow up with her in her office.

Hinata didn't have long to wait. Within a few moments, Shizune joined her. "How are you feeling?" she asked the younger woman.

Hinata simply shrugged, "I feel...okay I guess. How am I...doing?"

Shizune showed her the results from the two tests. "The amount of HGH is dropping, as we would expect. I am sorry, Hinata. You are miscarrying."

There it was again. That strange word that only yesterday had no meaning. _ Miscarry-ing._ A process. Apparently the process was proceeding as expected.

"I see," Hinata answered numbly. "What happens now?"

"I'd like you to come back each day the rest of this week so we can monitor the levels in your blood. You don't need to see me, unless of course you have questions or problems. You can just stop by the lab and let them draw your blood. Then come by two or three times next week for the same thing. Let's say the rest of this week and Monday, Wednesday, Friday of next week. We can meet again and talk next Friday."

Hinata nodded. "And what should I do?"

"Take care of yourself. Sleep. Rest. Eat healthy. Train lightly. Only take missions if you feel up to it, only in town for the next two weeks."

"Shizune, was there anything I should have done differently.?"

"Hinata, this happens in the first trimester in about 20% of all pregnancies, even to healthy women like yourself. Some research suggests it may even be much higher if you consider the possibility of conception and then miscarriage occurring before the first menstrual cycle, where the woman may never even realize she _is_ pregnant. This is nature's way of dealing early on with a pregnancy where there may not be a viable outcome. Your body is healthy and strong and handling this gracefully. You didn't do anything wrong. As a matter of fact, what your body is doing now is _right _for this particular circumstance."

Hinata nodded quietly as she watched Shizune make a notation in her chart and graph the numbers.

She'd tried to explain it all to Kiba that night but kept tripping over words, trying to reconcile in her mind the concept that while her baby was gone she was actually quite healthy. It seemed preposterous that _miscarry-ing_ was a process that was so common. Reluctantly she had to admit to herself that she did feel fine, just tired and that was probably more from simply worrying about it than from anything else.

Kiba was able to say it all much more succinctly. "I'm glad you're okay," he said as he kissed her.

The rest of the two weeks dragged past. Somewhere in the middle of it Shikamaru and Temari's baby girl was born. Lee and Tenten were settling in at their home with their daughter by now. The young Nara family went home in a couple of days. Hinata visited them all as well as keeping her appointments at the lab faithfully. By the end of the two weeks, Hinata wasn't pregnant anymore, either.

It was rather surreal sitting in Shizune's office and hearing the news. She looked at the graph Shizune had kept of her falling hormone levels, the line gently tapering away to nothing, sloping toward the bottom of the graph. It was the complete opposite of what she'd expected, measurements taken each month of a swelling belly, measurements taken and charted of a baby's healthy growth.

"So what happens now?" she asked Shizune.

Shizune smiled back at her. "What happens now is you go live your life and be a healthy kunoichi. Give yourself three months before trying to get pregnant again, to let your body rest. But after that, go, get pregnant. Make babies with Kiba. Have a whole litter if you like."

Hinata smiled faintly. "So that's it then...I'm...fine?"

"You're fine," Shizune reassured her.

Hinata sat for a minute looking at the papers spread out in front of Shizune and realizing that this was it...this was ...over. Finished. Nothing left.

No baby. No baby furniture. No little rattles or baby outfits. Nothing brought in to prepare for a nursery. Nothing to ever indicate that she once had...a baby. No one even knew besides Kiba, Shizune and she herself.

It was over.

She was fine.

"Shizune," she asked hesitantly, "Could I keep the graph, please?"

Shizune looked down at the paper Hinata was motioning toward. "I need it for your records but....I can make you a copy," Shizune answered understandingly. She left for a moment and returned with the sheet of paper which Hinata carefully folded and put in her pouch.

"Arigato, Shizune-san," she said softly as she left.

Returning home, Hinata carefully removed the ribbon from the vase where the flowers were wilting. Then she discarded the faded blooms, washed and stored the vase. Folding the ribbon and graph together, she tucked them into the back corner of her bedside table drawer.


	4. BFFs

**Chapter 4: BFFs  
**

_Thursday's child has far to go - Moegi/Konohamaru_

Moegi sat on the smooth flat stone by the side of the stream and waited for Konohamaru. She had arrived there early since she didn't have anything else on her schedule for the rest of the afternoon. It gave her time to think about everything they had said to each other last night.

She had had no idea what to expect from him since obviously neither she nor Konohamaru had ever _expected_ to find themselves in this situation. It certainly wasn't something they had planned, they were only eighteen after all.

Eighteen years old, one week late and with a positive pregnancy test, too.

She'd told Konohamaru last night and he had momentarily been stunned to silence, which, for Konohamaru was really quite something. But she knew how that felt, she herself had been totally mute, unable to actually even _think_ of anything to say, much less articulate it when she'd seen the positive test result.

And she realized she did have an advantage on him in the foreknowledge department just because _she _was one the who was late and therefore _she_ was the one who'd first had the suspicion and gone out and purchased the test.

What was it Ebisu-sensei was always saying - anytime you go on a mission you should always have your exit-strategy in place?

Clearly she and Konohamaru were lacking an exit-strategy here.

She really had _not_ known what to expect when she told him. Moegi was a kunoichi and she wasn't particularly a fairy-tale-ending kind of girl, she hadn't exactly hoped Konohamaru would swear his undying love for her and propose to marry her on the spot. That was rather cliche. And quite honestly, if he had done that she didn't know what her response would have been.

Did she love Konohamaru?

Yes and no she thought as she mulled yesterday over in her mind, the stream babbling happily as it flowed past her feet. She had loved Konohamaru since she was a kid, as a friend and as a teammate, the same way she loved Udon. But somehow, this last year, the physical attraction between her and Konohamaru had grown stronger until neither one of them could deny it anymore and they had wound up in bed together, as well as a variety of other interesting locations throughout Konoha. She blushed even though there was no one there to see it, wondering if Ebisu _really_ had believed that the wind had blown all those papers off his desk that time. It was hard to tell with those dark glasses he always wore.

But was she _in love_ with Konohamaru? She wondered.

She recalled their conversation last night. It had been right here, at this very spot that they'd met and had the "I've got something to tell you" talk.

Moegi hadn't known what to expect, beyond the stunned part since that was her first reaction, too. She hadn't known if he'd be angry, accusatory, disbelieving, happy or what. How did guys feel about this stuff anyway?

Konohamaru actually ran the gamut, starting with disbelieving, progressing through accusatory, flirting with angry and then settling back down somewhere around disbelieving. He never quite made it to happy, though, she noticed.

The angry part didn't last long and she had to confess that she herself was angry over the whole situation so she understood somewhat how he felt. But the accusatory part hurt, it really did. What? Did he think she had _planned_ this or something? She would never in a million years have thought to accuse _him_ of _wanting_ this to happen, how could he think that of her?

Konohamaru apologized for it quickly enough, though and wound back up in the disbelieving state. After a couple more iterations of the 'are you sure' and 'how did this happen' questions which she responded to with her own by then standard 'I'm pretty sure' and 'I imagine it happened in the usual way' responses he finally quit pacing around the creekbed like a caged animal and sat down on the rock beside her.

"What are we going to do?" she had finally asked.

He hadn't answered for the longest time and when he finally did he was very solemn about it. "Moegi, I think...I think you should give the baby up for adoption."

Moegi had realized that if she was hoping for a particular outcome, say the fairy-tale ending, that she would probably have felt the world crumbling down around her. Since she had not been hoping or anticipating any specific thing, it had instead felt more like a door closing. Konohamaru must have been expecting her to say something, when she didn't he continued on.

"What I mean is...I think it would be better for you if...so you didn't have the guilt if you ...got rid of it."

Moegi had nodded, still keeping quiet, processing what he had said.

Strangely enough, she kept thinking of Ebisu-sensei and those ridiculous platitudes he was prone to spout off, things like "There is no 'I' in team."

Well, yeah, sure. Just like there is no 'we' in any statement that begins with 'I think you should...'

"Moegi?" Konohamaru had whispered to her. "Did you hear what I said?"

She'd nodded her head slightly and responded, "Yes. You're ... maybe you're right."

Neither of them had had much else to say and so finally Moegi had broken the silence and told him, "Look, it's getting late. I'm going to go on home. We can talk about this more tomorrow."

Konohamaru had agreed and an awkward moment had passed between the two of them as they tried to figure out how to say goodnight. They had finally settled on hugging each other.

Moegi had lain awake most of the past night, thinking things through in her head. At first she'd been disappointed although she really couldn't say why. What had she expected?

If anything, his statement, although disappointing on the outside actually gave her a remarkable gift. Clarity.

There is no 'I' in team.

There is no 'we' in a statement that begins with 'I think you should...'

This was _her_ problem.

Clarity.

Once she'd recognized it for what it was it was easier to process the other few things they'd said between them.

Give it up for adoption.

Was he _serious?_

If there was one thing Konoha shared in common with the other hidden villages it was their unsurpassed ability to produce orphans and fatherless children. Without taking any pride in the fact, Moegi acknowledged that she, Konohamaru, Udon and Ebisu-sensei had undoubtedly created their own fair share of orphans in the number of enemy ninjas they had taken out over the years. She had no illusions that this current peace would last. Since becoming a genin she'd seen wars, outbreaks, skirmishes and peaceful lulls between the villages and nations. There might be a dip in the current output but at any day, war could break out and the nations go back to full-out orphan production mode the conventional way by killing their parents.

She saw no need to contribute to that population by giving birth to one destined to be an orphan from the start.

Besides, she thought of Sai and shivered, who adopted orphans anyway? Didn't they just end up like him?

But if she had a child did it have to be an orphan? Could she raise one by herself?

Briefly considering Kurenai-sensei she had to honestly acknowledge that no, she could not. Not now. She wasn't ready.

Which brought her to the most remarkable part of his statement. Guilt? How could he possibly make such an assumption about her? He was her best friend, her first lover. What had she ever said to him that would make him assume that she would ... feel that way? When had they ever even discussed it before this?

Guilt?

Why would he assume such a thing?

Unless...would _Konohamaru_ feel guilty if she ended this?

Moegi had tossed and turned that night, eventually falling into a fitful sleep. But when she had awakened this morning, at least she had her exit strategy.

Still looking into the water cascading through the stream at her feet, she heard Konohamaru's rushed footsteps headed her way. Moegi straightened and turned to look at his direction, smiling up at him.

"Hi, Konohamaru," she started but he interrupted her, talking in a rush as he sat down beside her.

"Moegi, look, I know I said some stuff last night," he said hurriedly, giving her a hug as he settled by her side. "And it might have sounded like I was mad but I'm not. It's just that..."

"Konohamaru," she started but was interrupted again.

"It's just that I've been thinking it over a lot and what I said, about you giving it up for adoption..."

"Konohamaru..."

"No, wait, Moegi, let me finish. I thought about it a lot last night and I think that that's really the best, the best thing for you to do. I just feel that..."

She thwacked him on the back of the head. "Konohamaru! You idiot! I started."

"What?"

"I started you dolt. My period. I started today. I'm not pregnant."

"What? But I thought you said you were sure?"

"Well, I thought I _was sure _but I guess I was just late. I guess I did the test wrong or misread it or something."

Konohamaru was laughing with relief. "Did the test wrong? How can you pee on a stick the wrong way?"

Moegi slapped him on the arm and started laughing a little herself too. "Shut up you idiot, I was scared. Okay? I was late and I took the test and I guess I was just nervous and read it wrong or something."

Flopping back onto the stone Konohamaru continued to laugh in relief. "Oh, man, talk about dodging a kunai..."

Moegi smiled down at him, relieved herself to see him happy. It really was better this way. "Yes, we did dodge that one, didn't we? We, um, probably should not play with fire..."

Konohamaru sat up, "Moegi, do you mean not see each other anymore?"

She rolled her eyes, "Idiot, I'm on a team almost constantly with you, I can't help but see you almost every day. I guess I was just thinking we should..."

"Break it off?"

Moegi shrugged, "Take a break? Maybe?"

Konohamaru took a deep breath, "Yeah, maybe."

The two of them sat together for a bit before Moegi finally spoke up, "Say, aren't you and Udon leaving out on a mission this afternoon?"

"Yeah," he answered her. "Some penny-ante lord in some hole-in-the-wall village thinks he's getting death threats. We're just going for surveillence for a few days."

"Well, see you around," she shrugged smiling at him.

He leaned over and awkwardly hesitated the same as he had done last night before he kissed her on the cheek. "I'll see you when I get back," he said.

She watched him walk off into the forest in the direction of the village. Moegi settled herself back against the stone, lying back to take a nap. She had a couple more hours to wait. By the time this day was over she would have spent almost the entire afternoon out here.

Dozing lightly, she was eventually awakened by light footsteps hurrying in her direction. Moegi sat up as Hanabi walked into view. "How did it go?" the younger Hyuuga girl asked, her lavender eyes full of concern.

Moegi sighed, "Pretty much as I expected, I guess. He was greatly relieved when I told him my period started."

Hanabi sat down beside her friend, adding. "But it didn't, right?"

Nodding, Moegi confirmed, "But it didn't. My appointment's in the morning. Can you...can you still come with me?"

"Of course. Of course I will." Hanabi responded, throwing her arms around Moegi and hugging her.

"Don't ever tell...."

"Shhh, I won't tell it. I promise. I won't."

Moegi leaned against Hanabi's shoulder. "I feel a little...lonely right now. Do you think you could stay with me tonight and...maybe tomorrow night, too?"

"Yes," Hanabi reassured her. "I can. I will. What are friends for?"

_**A/N: ** BFF = best friends forever_


	5. Mother's Milk

**Chapter 5: Mother's Milk**

_Friday's child is loving and giving - Ino/Chouji_**  
**

"It's my fault, my fault, my fault," Ino was weeping.

"Nobody's at fault here," Shizune said calmly, "It's just a confluence of circumstances. The baby is large, his head has turned to the side and he's simply not going to make it through. If he were face down, then maybe, but he's still a big baby so even if he were presenting perfectly, you might not be able to deliver him. I'm sorry, Ino, I know you've worked hard but..."

"No!" she sobbed, "No, I can do this. I want to keep trying...I can do this."

"Ino," Chouji whispered to her, "Ino, you've _been_ trying ..." He held her hands tightly as she panted her way through another contraction.

The pain subsided and she turned a tear-streaked face to him. "I want to do it, Chouji. I can do it. I just need a little bit longer."

"Ino, look at me," Shizune ordered sternly. "You're not the only one working hard here. The baby's working, too. And he's getting tired. I can let you keep trying a little bit longer but if his heart rate drops..."

She didn't get to finish her statement as another contraction gripped Ino who sobbed her way through it, more in heartache than in pain. When this one subsided Shizune continued.

"Ino, if his heart rate drops, we're going to have to take him by C-section. It's better for him if we don't let him get to that point. It's better for you if you come to that decision yourself. You're a good mother, Ino, you've taken good care of him for nine months already. I know you want to do the best thing for _him._"

"Chouji? Chouji? What should I do?" she cried, turning to look at her husband.

What should she do? She was asking him what she should _do_? "Ino, I want you both to be okay. Listen to Shizune. Let her help you _both._"

"I tried, Chouji. You know I did, don't you? I really tried."

He was stroking her hair now, leaning very close to her. "I know you did, Ino. Nobody ever tried harder than you did."

Another contraction. After this one was over, Ino sagged back against Chouji, giving up. "Okay," she whispered. "Okay. Just do it."

Shizune stood up. "He'll be fine, Ino," she said softly. She stood looking at her fellow kunoichi and explained what was going to happen next. "I need for you to sit up. Chouji, come around to the front here, you're going to hold Ino's hands as she leans forward. I'm going to block her chakra points, blocking the pain from the waist down so that she's numb. Then I'll leave the two of you alone together for a bit while I get Tsunade and we get an operating room ready."

"O-o-kay," the two younger ninjas stammered in seeming unison. Ino struggled to sit up, leaning her forehead against Chouji's chest as he held both her hands. Shizune worked carefully, her hands warm against the skin of Ino's back as she searched out chakra points and nerve endings, blocking them. Ino felt herself go numb. As the pain subsided, her breathing eased.

"Feeling better, Ino?" Shizune asked.

"Yes," Ino lied. The pain may have been gone but her heart still hurt. She had _failed_. She had failed _miserably_. She couldn't even _have_ her own baby. She leaned back and lay down in the bed again.

All the _books_ said you were supposed to deliver the baby. The instructors in the _classes_ said it over and over again, natural delivery was _best_ for the baby, _best_ for his lungs,_ best _for the mother, _best_ for bonding. She couldn't even do what was _best_ for her baby.

She. Had. Failed.

Shizune patted her on the back a little. "I'll be back in a bit."

And she was gone, leaving Chouji and Ino alone together.

"I'm sorry Chouji," Ino whispered.

"Ino..." he started and then realized he had no idea what else to say to her.

They had been in here for _hours_. He looked at the clock, realizing that it had been well more than twenty-four hours actually. Shikamaru had always maintained that whatever women said about the number of hours they were in labor, you should just divide by two to have a rough estimate of the accurate amount of time. But he could honestly say they had been here for...God, thirty two hours now.

He thought he'd held up well through it all until this last part. He could handle the cries and Ino's water breaking and her practically squeezing his hand off at the wrist and the blood - all that he'd been expecting. He had even grudgingly accepted that Shizune and Tsunade seemed to be treating Ino like a farm animal when it came to checking her progress. He understood the necessity of it all.

But this... this last part. Sheesh. The baby had come down and Ino had started pushing and things had gone well to a point then_ stopped_. The baby's head was turned, he was resting against her pelvic bone with his head tucked under in a position that simply wouldn't let him get out. Chouji had been queasy when Shizune explained it, just thinking about Ino suffering for no progress and the baby being trapped like that made him sick, made him want to scream STOP, made him want to yell at Shizune to just do something, ANYTHING.

Shizune suggested that she might, possibly, be able to turn the baby's head between contractions and Ino had agreed. Well, up until that point he had only _thought_ he had heard Ino scream. He'd never considered how much the _rhythm_ of contractions played into it, how much the laboring mother needed that respite, no matter how brief. For Ino to give that up while Shizune tried..._that_...not once, not twice but three times...

And Ino had kept trying and _trying_ because she wanted to do what was _best _for the baby no matter how much it hurt her.

The fucking books did not tell you_ any _of this shit.

Chouji knew that there was never a mother who loved her child more than Ino. Ino loved her son, his son, _their_ son more than he could possibly imagine and she was telling him she was _sorry?_

He had no idea what to say to Ino. But he did know that if he ever heard his son talking about Ino the way Shikamaru talked about _his_ mom he would beat the daylights out of the boy.

"You should go get something to eat," Ino whispered.

"Ino, I'm not leaving you," he argued.

"Go get something to eat, dummy," she said, sounding somewhat like herself. "I don't want you passing out in the operating room." She hesitated then added, "You do think they'll let you come in with me, don't you?"

Chouji kissed the top of her head, "I'd like to see them try to stop me. And I am not leaving you now."

"Please, Chouji? I just want to be by myself for just a minute. Look at me..." she waved her hands at her numb legs, "It's not like I'm going anywhere, I promise I won't run away." She gave him a wistful little smile.

He gave her another quick kiss. "I promise I'll be right back." And he left, ashamed to admit it but he really was starving. He'd gotten familiar with the snack machine over the last thirty-two hours, so he sprinted there, grabbed some chips and headed back eating on the run.

For her part, Ino spent the few minutes whispering apology after apology to her baby. She was _sorry_ that she was such a bad mother she was _sorry _that she couldn't do this right, she _wished_ she could have worked harder but she was just _so _tired. When Chouji came back she was sobbing quietly into her hands.

"Ino...Ino...stop...I can't see you like this..."

She waved his concerns away, taking a deep breath and wiping her tears off her face. "It's okay, I just had to get it out of my system," she lied again, flashing him another weak smile.

Chouji couldn't say anything else, two orderlies came in with a gurney to take Ino to the operating room. She slid her upper body over onto the gurney but was disgusted with herself that they had to shift her useless, dead-weight legs over for her. Ino stared blankly at the ceiling as they rolled her down the hall.

At the entrance to the operating room someone tucked a hideous cap around her hair. She smiled a little bit to see Chouji gowned up with what looked like a shower-cap on his head, too. Then they wheeled her in and the room was cold and the lights were bright. Someone was helping her slide over onto a table, she couldn't bring herself to think of it as an operating table. And they stretched her arms out to either side, supports under them, smoothing her hands flat.

"W-w-w-hy are you doing that?" asked Ino, feeling as if she were being crucified.

A nurse said calmly, matter-of-factly, as if there was nothing to this since _she_ wasn't the one being carved up like a side of beef, "We need to be able to check your blood oxygen, your fingertips are a good indicator. We need to be able to see them."

Ino shivered and the same nurse asked again, "Cold, dear?" Ino had to admit that her voice was sweet even if it was matter-of-fact. She simply nodded and someone put a very heavy blanket over her chest, covering her shoulders but leaving her arms bare.

"C-c-c-houji?" she asked.

"I'm right here, Ino," he assured her as the nurse stepped aside. He instantly took the woman's place and knelt down beside her.

Tsunade came in and smiled down at her, looking very odd as from Ino's point of view she appeared upside down. "Ready, Ino? I'll bet you're excited."

"Y-y-yes," Ino said. Excited? How could you be excited about being a complete _failure_?

Tsunade clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Just a few more minutes."

And there was a drape at her waist so she couldn't see what was going on, and the clatter of metal implements on metal trays and a smell of some antibacterial wash that they were scrubbing her stomach with. There were a lot of people in the room with her. People were monitoring her heartbeat and the baby's heartbeat and Shizune was there with Tsunade and somebody brushed Chouji's hand away from hers because they needed to keep an eye on her all important fingernails for some reason so Chouji couldn't even hold her hand but he could stay with one hand on her shoulder.

"Okay, Chouji, we've made the incision, you wanna watch?" Tsunade asked conversationally.

"Ino?" he whispered wondering if she really did want him to watch.

"Sure, Chouji," she reassured him. Why not? It seemed like half of Konoha was in here watching her be gutted like a trout anyway. He might as well since neither one of them would actually see her baby _born _since she was such a total _failure._

"I've got him!" Tsunade announced. And even though she couldn't really feel anything, Ino could sense her body being jerked around, none too gently she assumed, as Tsunade pulled and tugged her son out. "He's beautiful, Ino!" Tsunade announced proudly as she handed him to Shizune who immediately began checking the infant.

"I want to see him," Ino said anxiously, worried that she could neither see nor hear her son. Shouldn't he be crying or something?

"We're just cleaning his airways," Shizune said calmly.

Tsunade was busying herself with closing the incision. "Don't worry Ino, when I'm through with you, you'll still be hitting the beach in a bikini this summer."

Oh, no! She hadn't even thought about the scar. Chouji was never even going to want to look at her again.

A soft whimper, then a tiny little cry caught her attention. "Oh!" Ino exclaimed, hearing her son.

"Here he is," Shizune said, proudly presenting him to Chouji, swaddled in a soft white little blanket.

"Oh, oh, oh, he's beautiful," Ino sighed sincerely. And she realized her son was REALLY beautiful. She smiled in secret satisfaction. She'd visited Tenten and Temari each on the days their daughters had been born. She had made the obligatory oohs and aahs over the girls proclaiming each one to be beautiful in her own right. Personally, however, she had thought they each looked like a cross between a red raisin and a drowned kitten.

But her son was plump and beautiful. Only his cheeks were red, a perfect little blush almost like the swirls on Chouji's cheeks, the rest of him was a smooth, delicate pink. He wasn't the least bit scrunched up or wrinkled. His little head was perfectly round, not at all squashed-looking like the girls had been.

"They look a little bit different when they come out this way, don't they, Ino?" Tsunade chuckled.

"I'll say," Ino breathed in awe. Well, at least there was something positive out of this. She wondered how soon you could send pictures in to those baby magazine contests.

"Can I hold him?" she asked, trying to raise one arm, amazed at how weak she felt. Chouji leaned down, holding him ever so carefully close to her so she could stroke his cheek with one finger.

"Not yet, Ino. Let me finish closing you up and we'll get you in a recovery room. When you wake up and are able to _sit up_ we'll bring him to you."

Great. Further evidence of her complete inadequacy as a mother. She couldn't even hold her baby. And they seemed to be implying that she would somehow choose sleep before she held him.

"Finished!" Tsunade announced proudly. "Call it Shizune."

Shizune looked at the clock. "Fifteen...dammit...fifteen minutes from start to finish! How do you _do_ that Tsunade?"

"Hah! Bet you can't beat THAT!"

Shizune grinned. "You're on!"

Ino found it very odd that the two of them seemed to be _proud _of what had happened here. Then again, they and their medical team had saved the day, she herself had merely screwed things up. To her further dismay they put her back on a gurney to take her to a recovery room, while they put her baby in a bassinet to take him to the nursery.

Her thoughts were swirling in her head as they transported her down the hall to a regular room. The cessation of pain and the freedom from the need for her body to _do_ something for the moment, paired with her complete exhaustion caught up with her. Her head started to loll to the side. By the time she got to the room she was almost sound asleep. Faintly she was aware of someone lifting her gently to put her on the regular bed and she thought it was Chouji, or at least that's whose name she said before she finally faded off to sleep.

Ino awoke to a dimly lit room filled with concerned faces. Chouji was by her bed holding her hand. She could see his dad at the foot of her bed along with both of Shikamaru's parents, but she didn't see her own father. "Chouji?" she asked, "Where's otousan?"

"Right here, Hime," her dad whispered and she turned her head to the other side to see him standing there.

"Where's...where's my baby?" Ino asked.

Yoshino smiled, "The nurse told us to let her know when you woke up, Ino-chan. I'll tell her and she'll bring your baby to you. I've seen him, he's beautiful, a strong healthy boy. He'll be right here." She patted Ino's leg before she left which felt odd because it was still kind of half-way numb. Ino tried wriggling her toes a little and felt the tingling sensation as the numbness wore off. She struggled to sit up in the bed, Chouji helping her.

Footsteps down the hall and her heartbeat quickened, they were bringing her baby! But the footsteps were heavy and rushed like someone running and it was Shikamaru who came barreling in through the door looking pale and anxious. "I just got back from a mission and Temari told me what happened. How's Ino?"

"Hey, Shikamaru," she said weakly. Terrific, all she needed was her jerk of a best friend telling her that if she hadn't been so scrawny to begin with then she could have had her baby the _right_ way, the _best_ way. To her surprise, Shikamaru didn't say anything else, just leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek.

Well that was weird, she didn't think he'd _ever_ kissed her, not even on her wedding day. He seemed awfully nervous, she hoped his mission hadn't gone wrong. She'd have to ask him about it later.

Ino looked around the room, oddly aware that there were five men there with her, none of whom seemed to be hinting that she failed at anything. As a matter of fact, they all seemed rather proud of her. Weird.

She didn't have long to ponder it, because the next sets of footsteps down the hall really were Yoshino-san returning with the nurse and _her baby._

"Here he is," the nurse, Kaori, said proudly, "Okaa-san, can you hold him now?"

"Oh, yes," Ino breathed, eagerly holding out her arms to receive her son. Looking down she marveled that he looked just like Chouji, a tiny perfect replica of Chouji. But when he opened his eyes, they were the clear blue that matched her own. "Oh," Ino sighed again.

"He was a little hungry in the nursery so we gave him just a tiny bit of formula. But he's probably hungry again. Are you going to try to breastfeed him?" the young nurse asked.

"H-how long was I asleep?" Ino asked.

"About four hours, Ino," Chouji answered her.

Her heart sank. _Four hours?_ She'd slept through the first four hours of her son's life? And they'd already given him a bottle of formula? They _had_ to give him formula because she was asleep and couldn't nurse him? Oh, no, not another failure. All the _books_ said that if they started on a bottle it was hard to get them to breastfeed. And breastfeeding was best. That's what all the _books_ said.

Ino fought back tears, she wasn't going to cry, not in front of all these people. "C-c-an I still try if he's already had a bottle?" she asked, her voice quaking.

"Of course," Kaori smiled warmly. "We always encourage it. I can help you now, if you like."

"Y-y-yes, I'd like to," Ino said timidly.

The nurse looked at Yoshino who took her cue and shoo-ed and shepherded all the men but Chouji out the door. As the door closed behind them, Kaori said, "Okay, Ino, ready for one more miracle?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," she answered uncertainly. Miracle? What if she messed this up, too?

"Now, you've had a C-section, so you might want to hold him this way," and she helped Ino position her baby. "Comfortable?"

Ino nodded, as she lowered the hospital gown, baring one breast. "How do I get him to...?"

Kaori chuckled. "Get him to open his mouth? Oh, he will, don't worry. Touch his cheek and he turns right toward it. It's called a rooting reflex. All babies are born with it."

Hesitantly, Ino tried her suggestion, gently stroking against her son's cheek and...he did exactly what the nurse said he'd do, instinctively turning toward the touch, mouth opening, seeking out her breast.

"Oh," she exclaimed, not really having any other words as his tiny perfect little mouth closed around her and she held him soft and warm against her. He looked up at her.

"See that, Ino?" Kaori was excited. "His eyes can only focus about fifteen inches in front of him, the perfect distance between his face and yours when you hold him at your breast. That's_ all _he can focus on right now. You're _all_ he needs to see."

"Chouji, look!" Ino breathed excitedly. She glanced up to see her husband looking down proudly at her.

Kaori continued, "Right now, what your body is producing is a special type of milk for newborns called colostrum. It can't be duplicated Ino. It only lasts for a few days before the heavier, richer milk comes in. It's full of nutrients, antibodies, direct from your body to his that he can't get any other way. Even if you're not going to continue to nurse him, if you could do it for the first ten days..."

"Who says I'm not going to keep on doing it?" Ino asked, amazed that the nurse would even suggest it.

"Well, it's a decision that's up to every mother and baby," the nurse answered her then turned her attention back toward the boy. "See that? He's latched on perfectly, that's what we call it when he takes the nipple properly. Notice how his mouth is covering most of your areola? Sometimes babies can't seem to get it right at first but you two are doing _perfectly_."

He was slowing down now, his little eyes getting heavy. After a moment more he stopped suckling and let her breast slip from his mouth, falling back asleep against her.

Anxiously Ino asked, "Was that okay? Did he nurse long enough? Did he get enough?"

The young woman reached out to stroke his cheek. "Oh, Ino," she sighed, "at this age, their tummies are so tiny, he probably only needs a tablespoon or two. But breastfed babies usually nurse on demand. And the more milk they need, the more they'll nurse, and the more they nurse the more milk your body will make. It really is a miracle how it all works together."

Kaori stood back up and smiled. "You'll have to forgive me. I'm supposed to encourage, not influence. Sometimes I get a little carried away. So often people get caught up in the actual labor and delivery, almost as if it's the be-all, end-all Chuunin exam of motherhood or something. It's great to see a new mother nurse her baby, someone who knows that even though the cord is cut, he's still connected to her and no other in a literal physical way through the milk that only she can make for him."

Ino was positively beaming now. "I, um, guess you've nursed your own baby," she asked. "How long did you breastfeed him?"

She laughed. "Oh, I nursed the first one until the second came along," she said. "About two years. But each one is different. My second one lost interest and pretty much weaned himself after he started solid foods and drinking from a cup." She laughed then continued. "Seriously, Ino, whatever you give him is a gift, something _no one else_ can give, okaa-san, whether it's today, a week, a month, or a year or more."

Ino had already made up her mind. She was no longer going to worry about doing what the books said was _best_ for her baby. She would do what was best for _her_ baby.


	6. You Can't Always Get What You Want

**Chapter 6: You Can't Always Get What You Want**

_Saturday's child works hard for a living – Sakura/Kakashi_

Sakura stood numbly, watching Kakashi, her _husband_ Kakashi walk away from her, unable to believe the conversation they had just had.

She was having a baby. _They_ were having a baby. This was supposed to be the happiest, most exciting moment of her life, _their_ lives. Granted, the timing of this was a little bit of a surprise, they'd only been married a year. But still…a baby!

And yet when she'd told him this morning, at first he hadn't reacted at all. For a moment she thought he might not have heard her and so she repeated her announcement.

He had responded then, his tone flat, neutral, "I heard you Sakura. When were you planning on telling me?"

She'd been a little bit taken aback, unsure what he meant by that. "Wh-what do you mean?" She had managed to stammer out.

Kakashi had maintained that neutral, controlled tone when he answered her, "I mean, you must have known, or at least suspected for a while now, otherwise, why take a test. So I ask you again, when were you planning on telling me?"

"Kakashi? I didn't _know _anything until this morning. Yes, I'm late, but I can't help but know I'm late before you do, it's _my _body in case you haven't noticed, silly. I'm late, I took a test, and…I'm pregnant. Aren't you happy?" The question had slipped from her lips thoughtlessly, never expecting his response to be what it was.

"So, how far along are you?"

The lack of response to her question, the lack of an expression of joy or happiness or even _any_ emotion at all had stunned her. "About s-s-six weeks."

He had nodded then and this time his response had a slight sting of accusation to it, "So you have known for a while. And you've decided to tell me."

She had been numb from that point forward. All she could think of was the question, the stupid question, she had to have an answer to her question. She had repeated it, "Aren't…aren't you happy?"

And her husband had sighed, cocked his head to one side and said quite simply, "It would have been nice to have been consulted." He then shouldered his bag that he had been packing in preparation for his upcoming mission, kissed her on the top of her head and said, "I'll be out of town for a couple of days. I'll see you when I get back."

And here she stood, rooted to her spot, watching him walk away.

This was _not_ how the scenario was supposed to play out.

They were supposed to be happy, overjoyed. He was supposed to sweep her into his arms and … Tears pricked her eyes. This was _not_ how the scenario was supposed to play out.

Fortunately, her day at work wasn't too difficult. Most of the cases were fairly routine and she went through her tasks automatically. It wasn't until the staff meeting toward the end of the day that Tsunade called her on it.

"Sakura? Did you hear me?" The blonde woman's voice was sharp, snapping Sakura out of her own muddled thoughts.

"Um, I'm sorry, shishou, could you repeat the question?" Sakura had blushed and apologized.

Tsunade repeated her question about maintaining adequate chakra circulation to the extremities in the event of frostbite and Sakura had droned out a textbook answer. Tsunade scowled, but grudgingly acknowledged that she was correct. The other meeting attendees looked uncomfortably at one another, it was rarely Sakura who caught Tsunade's ire.

Tsunade concluded the meeting, dismissing them. "Sakura, stay a minute."

"Hai, shishou," she acknowledge, hanging back while the rest of the staff filed past her.

Tsunade sat down at her desk and peered intently at her. Sakura shifted uneasily under her penetrating gaze. Tsunade's stare could be very hawk-like when it was directed at you and Sakura was uncomfortably aware that she felt very much like a mouse at the moment.

"Sakura, what's _wrong_ with you? You haven't been yourself today."

"I'm sorry, Lady Tsunade, I guess I'm just not feeling well," Sakura had stuttered, wondering if she should tell her anymore than that.

"Are you sure? It seems more like you're distracted than ill. Is something bothering you?"

Sakura weighed her options, to tell Tsunade or not to tell her. Shishou was tough, she was stern, it was true, but she could also be understanding. Maybe…

Sakura cleared her throat, "Um…it's just that …I'm…."

How could it possibly be _hard _to say this? She was pregnant! Shouldn't the whole _world_ be happy with her? Wouldn't _Tsuande_, of all people, be happy for her? Why was it so hard to say it? Just because Kakashi had been…such a jerk…about it…didn't mean that shishou would be, too.

Sakura cleared her throat again and finished, "I'm pregnant, shishou."

Tsunade arched one elegant eyebrow skyward and answered carefully. "You are? I didn't even know you and Kakashi were trying. Personally I'm surprised that he ever would want…"

If it were possible, Sakura felt Tsunade's gaze sharpen even more. "You _were_ trying weren't you? That is, the _two _of you were trying_, intending_ to have a baby?"

Shifting uneasily on her feet, Sakura found herself unable to achieve more than a whisper, "Well, no, it just …we just…it's a surprise and … it just kind of happened…" her voice trailed off.

Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, exhaling heavily. She had long suspected that babies were contagious and this just furthered that hypothesis. Silly little kunoichi, she should just round them all up and throw them in prison until they were twenty-five for their own good.

"Sakura, you're the best medic in Konoha. How is it possible that this 'just happened?'"

No answer.

Tsunade sighed again, softening just a little, motioning for Sakura to sit down. "Well, when did you find out? What did Kakashi say?"

Sakura was still trying to process the fact that _no one_ in Konoha seemed to be pleased with the fact that she was pregnant. Not Kakashi, not shishou. What was _wrong_ with her? Everyone else was merrily making babies in Konoha. Lee and Tenten, Chouji and Ino, even Shikamaru and Temari seemed happy with their new offspring. And for Shikamaru to seem even remotely happy or interested in _anything _was saying a lot. What was wrong with her, with Kakashi, with _them?_

"Th-th-this morning." She answered as she took a seat in one of the side chairs. "He, um, didn't say much."

"Well? What did he say?"

"He, err, said it would have been nice to have been consulted." Sakura answered bitterly wondering if anyone had ever had such an uncaring, unfeeling response from their husband when told the good news. She looked up at Tsunade with red-rimmed eyes, expecting to find the older woman as shocked and dismayed as she felt right now.

Instead, Tsunade was nodding thoughtfully at her. "Hmmm, yes, well, I suppose he _would_ have liked that. So, had you two talked, at all about this? About starting a family?"

"Well, before we got married, we'd both talked about...maybe having one or two kids..."

Tsunade continued to nod her head thoughtfully, "At some vague, nebulous undefined point in the future, right?"

It was Sakura's turn to nod.

"Well, how did you expect him to react?"

Sakura somehow managed to get through her expectations and subsequent disappointment without totally breaking down into tears in front of her teacher but she more than made up for it with sniffles and long pauses. Again, when she was finished, she turned her eyes toward shishou expecting sympathy, understanding.

Tsunade was shaking her head gently. She made a small 'tsk' of disapproval and asked, "So which is it you want, Sakura, the hearts and flowers or Kakashi's honesty?"

The question brought Sakura up short. "I...what do you mean, Tsunade-sama?"

"What I mean is, Kakashi gave you a very_ honest _response. He was stunned and he would have liked to have been involved in your decision to have a child." She raised her hand to cut off Sakura's sputtered denial. "Don't pretend with _me_, Sakura. _You_ know how contraceptives and _emergency_ contraceptives work. I might believe you conceived accidentally, but to wait _two weeks_ after you missed a period? Come on," and for the first time today it seemed that Tsunade smiled at her, "if you weren't trying you certainly were at least _hoping._"

Sakura blushed and allowed herself her own faint smile. "So, what should I do?"

"I can't answer that for you. But I can tell you this. Most kunoichi see motherhood as a beginning. Most shinobi see fatherhood as an ending. Not necessarily in a bad way, mind you, but an ending of the life they've lived up until then nonetheless. And you have an unfair advantage - it's _your_ body going through the changes, chemicals, hormones, endorphins, _you're_ gearing up for this for nine full months - they aren't, at least not physically. And from their point of view, at the end of that nine months, *wham* here's a tiny little person that is utterly and completely dependent on them _forever. _ They may be shinobi, but I think it still scares the shit out of them."

Sakura sighed and repeated without thinking, "So what should I do?"

"Sakura, I just told you I_ can't _answer that. He said he'd see you in a couple of days, right? When he got back from his mission? Hatake Kakashi is nothing if not honest to a fault. So, you'll see him in a couple of days, and then you'll talk to him. After that, it's up to the both of you. But remember, it's hard enough for most shinobi. And Hatake isn't most shinobi. He brings his own baggage to the table."

"But do you think he'll be happy?"

"I don't know, Sakura-chan," Tsunade said affectionately. "Usually they are, in their own time and in their own way. But sometimes, shinobi just know they aren't cut out to be a father, or they feel that they have something insurmountable in their past and they just ... can't do it," she added just a little sadly.

Sakura nodded. "Thank you, Shishou," she whispered. "I, er, suppose I should be going now." She sniffled again as she rose from the chair and wiped her face with the back of her hand.

"Sakura?" Tsunade called as she reached the door.

"Yes?"

"How are you feeling? Physically? Any symptoms, yet?"

Sakura smiled. "Okay...I guess."

Tsunade chuckled, "Yeah, you probably won't start puking for a couple more weeks. Enjoy it while it lasts."

Sakura laughed then, just a little and it was still mixed in with a sniffle or two but at least she did laugh. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama."

"Good luck."

"Arigato, Tsunade-sama," Sakura replied, as she left.

She nearly collided with Koharu who was about to knock at the door when Sakura opened it.

"Oh, forgive me, Koharu-sama," Sakura mumbled as she stood aside to let the older woman pass. Sakura bowed politely to both her and Tsunade as she closed the door behind her.

"Tsunade? Still making the other kunoichi cry I see?" Koharu teased her, her voice graveled with age, about Sakura's red-rimmed eyes.

"Oh, quit grouching old woman, " Tsunade laughed back at her companionably. "She's pregnant."

"Really?" Koharu's eyes widened. "Isn't that Kakashi's wife? How does Hatake feel about this?"

"Less than thrilled."

"Hmmm, yes, I imagine he would be."

"Do you think we could round up all the kunoichi who are under twenty-five..."

"What? And put them into prison for their own good?" Koharu laughed. "I tried to convince Sarutobi that's what we should do with _you._"

Tsunade cast her gaze down and said wistfully, "That was a long time ago." She sighed and looked up again. "Koharu, please don't tell anyone about Sakura's pregnancy, at least not until she and Kakashi work some things out. I shouldn't even have mentioned it to you."

Koharu patted her on the knee and said very kindly. "Tsunade-chan. Don't you know by now your secrets are always safe with me?"

* * *

True to his word, Kakashi returned from his mission two days later. Instead of flinging herself into his arms as she usually did at his returns, she waited shyly, awkwardly for him in the doorway. Their embrace, when they greeted each other alternated somewhere between cool and warm, but certainly not joyous.

"I missed you," she said simply.

"I missed you, too," he replied. "So, how are you...," he motioned hesitantly toward her. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine. Thank you."

Sakura looked at him, she had thought long and hard over the last few days about what Tsunade had said. Was she in love with _Kakashi_, or with her_ ideal_ of what Kakashi _should _be? How he _should_ behave or _should _react? She thought she knew the answer. "We should talk. I _am_ pregnant."

"Yes. I knew that before I left."

"I want to have children." Sakura tried to match his neutral tone, tried not to let anger or fear or worry or snappiness enter her voice.

"Yes. Well, that usually goes along with being pregnant."

This next one was going to hurt. It was really going to hurt but she had to say it. She was a medic, this was a simple statement of fact. She could keep her voice neutral for one more simple factual statement and then wait to hear what he had to say.

Sakura took a deep breath. "But while you were gone, I've done a lot of thinking and I realize I don't have to have children right now."

Kakashi took in his own long breath. Had she honestly just said what he thought he had heard? He studied her, trying so hard to stand there calmly in front of him. Did she mean it? He looked at her, so open and honest and trusting and realized that yes, she did mean it. She did mean it because she loved ... _him._

He took in another long breath and said, "Well, while I was gone, I did a lot of thinking. And in general we _had_ talked about having one or maybe two children. But that had always seemed like some far off point in the future." He shrugged, "And I guess the future just got here a little quicker than I was expecting."

"So...?"

He shrugged again, "I guess we're having a baby."

Sakura stepped toward him and echoed, "I guess we're having a baby," as he wrapped his arms around her and held her warmly against him.

Their lovemaking that night was tender, but shy and almost awkward, as if it were the first time they'd been intimate. Sakura reassured him, that even though she _was _pregnant, she was certain that she wouldn't _break. _She did note that he didn't yet seem _happy_ about the whole situation but at least he was accepting. Falling asleep in his arms, she supposed that she could just wait for the hearts and flowers later, it was much better to have_ him._

Later that night, Sakura woke up and reached for Kakashi in the dark. She was puzzled to find his side of the bed empty. Sitting up in bed, giving her eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness, she recognized his silhouette seated near the window, his head leaning against the frame, looking out into the moonlight.

"Kakashi?" she whispered softly. "Kakashi are you okay?"

There was a long pause before he answered her hoarsely and in a tone so soft she could hardly hear him. "Sakura? What if I …" he paused, swallowing and then exhaling deeply. "What if I…_don't_ stay? What if I…," he faltered, searching for a word to use. "What if I _go away_…like Saku... like _he_ did?"

He looked up at her and in the moonlight she could see that the pain in his eyes matched the ache in his voice. Sakura's heart broke which was a very odd feeling because she'd always thought of heartbreak in terms of _losing _someone, not in terms of _finding _them. And in that question of his she honestly and truly found _him, _the Kakashi that was hidden from everyone except_ her_. Sakura's heart broke because she fell in love with Kakashi all over again.

She walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him against her, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. "You'll stay," she whispered back. "I _know_ you. I know who you are. And you won't leave me. Not _that_ way or any other way."

He didn't answer her for a while, just sat there leaning against her, listening to her heart beat. Finally he spoke, "I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can take care of a child."

Sakura trailed the fingers of one hand through his hair, kissing the top of his head again. "I'll tell you what, I'll take care of the baby, and you just take care of me, like you always have."

Another long pause before he whispered against her, "I'll try."

_**A/N: **You can't always get what you want but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need. ~ The Rolling Stones._


	7. The Long Run

**Chapter 7:** The Long Run

_But the child that is born on the Sabbath Day is bonny and blithe and good and gay_

Oh, no!

Oh, no, no, no!

_How_ had this happened?

Well, that was a dumb question, of course she knew _how_ this had happened. One corner of her mouth turned up in a quirky little smile, she knew _exactly_ how this happened. And when. And that was the _last_ time she was_ ever_ drinking that much sake again.

She waved the pregnancy test strip uselessly in front of her, trying to shake the stupid plus sign off it.

The little '+' twinkled merrily, mocking her.

Plus. As in plus one. As in one additional person occupying the same space she was occupying now.

She stopped shaking the test indicator, but now her hands trembled as she held it in both of them staring mutely at the symbol.

She could NOT be pregnant. She was too old for this nonsense.

Idiot! How could she have been such an idiot! To let him talk her into... without using...to be so irresponsible.. Just once, you would think that you could get a free pass just _once_ but_ nooooo_....What was that old saying - _if you weren't trying not to, then you were trying. _Clearly that was applicable here.

She could _not_ have a baby. That was all there was too it. She was too old. This was foolishness, nonsense.

Sinking back against the wall of the bathroom, she slid down to rest on the cool floor, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, resting her head. She _couldn't_ have a baby now. She just couldn't.

She started to cry. Then she started to laugh. Honestly, she really could not have a baby now, that was _absurd_. Quickly she clamped both her hands over her mouth to keep from making any sound. The _last_ thing she wanted to do was to wake him up right now. _Stupid idiot, _this was all_ his_ fault!

She needed just a few more minutes to think this thing through before she said anything to him.

Item 1: She was pregnant.

Item 2: She was going to throw up right here right now, it's a good thing she was sitting in front of the toilet.

Item 3: No, she was not going to throw up, that was just abject fear passing through her body, she was too early on for morning sickness.

Nope, before the morning sickness, there was that brief period of abundant energy alternating with overwhelming urges to take three-hour naps. No wonder she'd been feeling so good lately. _Then _came the morning sickness, the sick-sweet feeling of queasiness if she let her stomach get completely empty, leading her to go around snacking on crackers throughout the day as if she were leaving a trail of crumbs in order to find her way home.

It was _all_ coming back to her now. All that icky stuff was in the first trimester. But the second trimester...

She smiled, if she could have seen herself in the mirror she would have realized it was an extremely goofy smile. The second trimester was when she would feel the baby kick. Sometime well into her fourth month she'd feel it and it would be so soft and so fluttery like a cat gently tapping her with its paw but on the _inside_. And she would _know _in a concrete, undeniable way that somebody was _there. _For a while, only she could feel it because the baby was so tiny that no one else could. It was a secret that she and the baby would share just between the two of them.

The baby.

Forget about the pregnancy part, she was having a _baby_.

A baby with the smoothest skin she could imagine and fuzz of hair softer than the softest silk. A baby whose eyes couldn't focus beyond fifteen to eighteen inches in front of it, the perfect distance for seeing her face when she held it to her breast. A baby with a rosebud mouth that could latch on to nurse and when her milk let down she would have such a feeling of peace and contentment it defied explanation. A baby that could open its beautiful large eyes and captivate her with its merest glance.

Yes.

She was having a baby.

No.

She wasn't.

This was an accident, a mistake. She could _not_ be having a baby, she _would not_ be having a baby.

She was having a baby.

She sighed and stood up, splashing cold water on her face. Time to face the music, pay the piper, confront her partner in crime. She tried to think of how to tell him and decided that the direct approach was the best. And so help her God, if he made some wise-ass crack about "who's the father" she was going to beat the crap out of him. Knotting the sash of her robe more firmly about her waist, she snatched up the test indicator and stalked back to her bedroom.

"Here," she snapped, thrusting the indicator at him as she slipped back into her side of the bed.

Lying on his back in his bed, one arm behind his head, he had opened one eye when she came back. He accepted the item she was waving in front of him with his other hand and studied it carefully. His eyebrows shot skyward. Realizing that his life might very well depend on the next few words out of his mouth, Shikaku chose them with extreme caution, knowing full well that a pregnant Yoshino was not to be trifled with. "What's this?"

"Don't be an idiot!" Yoshino snapped furiously at him. "You know what it is."

Sitting up in bed beside her, he said, "Well, yes, I know what it is, er, congratulations... I think?"

And the words spilled out from Yoshino in a torrent, how she-was-too-old-they-were-too-old-this-was-insane-ridiculous-and-wouldn't-it-be-wonderful-to-have-another-baby-and-she'd-already-had-a-baby-so-she-didn't-need-to-have-one-again-but weren't-babies-wonderful-and-she-was-a-grandmother-already-for-heaven's-sake-and-what-was-she-going-to-do-what-were-_they_-going-to-do?

Shikaku let her talk until she was nearly exhausted. She was slowing now, her head hung down, covering her eyes with one hand. She shook her head forlornly and said, "Shikamaru didn't graduate from the Academy until he was _twelve_. Do you know how old I'll be in _twelve years_ if I have this baby?"

Early on in his life, Shikaku had come to the startling realization that the universe operated on one very simple principle - women and cats would do as they pleased and men and dogs should just relax and get used to the idea.

"Well," he replied philosophically, rubbing her shoulders gently with both hands, "How old will you be in twelve years if you _don't_ have a baby?"

She laughed then and leaned back against him, realizing that they could call her son a genius all they wanted, she was married to the wisest man in Konoha. "Really?" she asked joyfully.

He shrugged, "Math is math. In twelve years you'll be the same age, whether or not you have a baby."

"Your romanticism knows no bounds, does it Nara?" she asked, laughing as she kissed him.

"Obviously I have my moments or we wouldn't be having this discussion now would we?" he grinned, arching an eyebrow at her comment.

"Hmmmm, flawlessly well-reasoned," she agreed as he eased her back against the pillows.

They lay together in each other's arms a few moments, each lost in their own thoughts. Shikaku spoke first, "So, err, when are you due?"

Yoshino turned and buried her face against his neck and mumbled, "About nine months from the day our _granddaughter _was born."

He chuckled, "You're kidding."

"No," she whimpered, "I _knew_ I shouldn't have gone out drinking with you and Inoichi and Chouza that night."

They fell silent once again until finally this time Yoshino spoke, "Shikaku, what will people _say_?"

He turned his face to the side of hers, his beard tickling her cheek, voice warm and rumbling as he whispered in her ear, "People will _say _'that Nara Shikaku, he's a lucky bastard, still banging his wife after twenty-odd years, he even managed to knock her up! ' "

Yoshino snorted with laughter and swatted at him. "Shikaku!" She paused then added more somberly, "Babies are a lot of trouble, in case you've forgotten, and ... I'm a lot older now...there could be problems..."

Shikaku sighed, "Didn't I tell you when I met you that I knew you were going to be nothing but trouble?"

"Yes," she answered, fondly recalling their years together.

"Yoshino, in twenty-five years you have never once failed to live up to my expectations."

More laughter from her then she asked, "Okay, who's going to tell Shikamaru?"

It was his turn to roar with mirth. "Oh! Me! I want that mission! I wouldn't miss the look on his face for the world. But let's give him a little bit longer to get used to being a dad first before we tell him he's going to be a big brother."

He skimmed one hand down to her waist, toying lazily with the sash of her robe. "You know, if I recall correctly, pregnancy made you quite libidinous. And since you're already knocked up, we don't have to worry about you getting knocked up, do we?"

She smiled serenely at him. "Libidinous? Hmmmm, yes, I suppose I was. That is, when I wasn't puking my guts up."

Shikaku kissed his wife tenderly and whispered, "I promise I'll hold your hair back out of your face for you when you throw up."

Yoshino giggled then stroked his cheek gently, "You really do love me, no matter what, don't you?"

"Yes. I really do love you. No matter what."

The End!

_**A/N: ** Happy Valentine's Day!_

_The line about women and cats is a quote from the greatest science fiction author of all time, Robert A. Heinlein._

_Chapter title is from the Eagle's song "The Long Run"_

_Who is gonna make it?  
We'll find out in the long run  
(in the long run)  
I know we can take it  
If our love is a strong one  
(is a strong one)  
Well, we're scared, but we ain't shakin'  
Kinda bent, but we ain't breakin'  
In the long run  
Ooh, I want to tell you, it's a long run_

_Thanks to EVERYBODY who has read along and commented. I really REALLY appreciate it. This has been a great experience, writing so many different pairings and trying to keep them all relatively in character. If I've made you smile or made you laugh or made you sad or best of all made you say "hey - I never thought about it that way..." then please do let me know. _


End file.
